permission timer
a helpful tool i use to keep my time and energy in check while still nurturing my mind’s need to wander
breaks are essential.
i don’t need to cite the copious research that’s gone into proving how rest helps the mind and body to perform better, how daydreaming is actually good for productivity, and how important it is to take time for yourself and recharge in whatever way feels right for you.
sometimes you might find that sitting back and letting yourself rest doesn’t work.
that’s not your fault. our brains are wired to fit our productivity-driven culture. so in the moments when we’re not creating some form of output that could get us money or attention, that can spark feelings of guilt and shame that make us spiral internally.
even if it looks like you’re sitting back and watching tv or reading a book or scrolling on instagram in an enjoyable way on the outside, on the inside you may be sinking further and further into freeze mode where all the external stimuli are feeding some deeper despair.
you might be telling yourself that you should be doing something else, that you’re waiting your time, that you’re getting away with something bad and you need to do more to “earn” more downtime, that rest is a reward rather than a necessity.
even if you’ve heard all the research, even if you believe in rest as being a right, even if your own body has proven how restorative breaks can be for your focus, you may still find it hard to relax.
sometimes it’s not enough to set breaks in your calendar, even though that can be an essential tool as well. that’s where a permission timer comes in.
a permission timer allows you to commit to taking an unstructured break while maintaining a sense of control.
tell yourself that for the next 10 minutes you have no obligations and can absolutely focus on whatever you want. give yourself that permission to zone out completely, to do zero productive things, to accomplish nothing, then set a timer.
with that timer, you make a pact that until you hear that alarm you have full permission to put all responsibilities down and clear your mind to do whatever it wants.
that could be watching a show, playing a game, checking instagram, writing in a journal, making a snack, taking a walk, doodling on a napkin, petting a cat, sorting through your photos, dancing to music, daydreaming or staring at a wall. literally any choice is valid during your permission time.
then you get to see what happens. see what calls to you. realize that none of your time is wasted or arbitrary.
because whatever calls to you is telling you more about yourself.
if you scroll on social, you’re craving connection. take note of that and ask what else you’re doing to fulfill your need for community.
if you journal or draw, you’re connecting with yourself and learning what matters most to you. pay attention to what comes up here and you’ll learn more than you can imagine.
if you watch a show or read a book, you’re letting your mind follow narratives and inviting curiosity as you learn what it’s like to be someone else, somewhere else, and seeing things from a new perspective.
if you play games, maybe you want to find more order or control. look for ways you can either get a solid sense of your schedule and goals or learn to surrender to new ways of doing things.
if you meditate or stare into space, you may be overstimulated and need stillness. it’s more important than we can even understand. let your senses rest. they may become sharper when you need them most.
if you dance or walk or workout, you’re expressing yourself and letting the energy flow through you. remember how important balance between stillness and movement can be and let your body guide you for what you need and when.
the important part isn’t analyzing the time you spend, even though there can be such great lessons there. the most important part is that you give yourself a break beyond just calling it a break.
you need to let your mind and body know that it’s good for you to step away from your calendar and lists and obligations.
the time on that timer gives your mind the structure it needs to release the shoulds and the limiting beliefs for just enough time to find relief. then, when the timer goes off, you can even add another 10 minutes to it if you’re able and still available.
you may even find an opportunity to schedule a full afternoon off and plan permission timers of 20 minutes each just to check in with yourself. after 20 minutes, are you ready to shift into something new? are you zoning out too hard? are you feeling good about staying on this track, and maybe you make the next one for an hour to watch this full movie or read a few more chapters?
and since the odds are high that you’re already sneaking a few minutes here and there throughout your day to zone out or check social or doodle or whatever it is, you’ll actually be saving yourself time and focus. you’ll be keeping those moments from being unmanaged, involuntary distractions that can make you feel guilty or mad at yourself.
the permission timer works with our productivity mindset instead of against it.* since our brains are wired for meetings and time blocks, it makes sense that you can use that system to give yourself time for you the way you would schedule a one-on-one or catch-up call with someone who needs you—a set amount of time with no distractions and no agenda.
because, after all, you need you. you need you the most.
the only person who knows what you need is you, and if you’re not checking in then those needs are likely never getting met. and not to sound all tough love or go full mel robbins on you, but the only person to blame for not knowing what you want or need is you.
you owe yourself this time.
so set that timer, and take it seriously. no tasks, no planning, no guilt and no shame. this time is yours, and you have full permission to do whatever you want, even if it’s mostly about figuring out what you want.
you may be surprised what you learn. and you may learn that a little permission can go a long way.
*(for the record, i wrote this on a permission break of 20 minutes, then i added 20 minutes, and now the alarm went off just in time. so this time can be productive, but it doesn’t have to. and honestly, this felt really good to write, so it worked. i really hope it works for you too.)